


Under the Radar

by ChibiYoda



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bruce can get some but doesn't want any, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Science Boyfriends, Science Bros, This Is My Ship and It Has Wrecked Me, Tony wants some but can't get any
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-14
Updated: 2015-10-14
Packaged: 2018-04-24 20:04:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4933492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChibiYoda/pseuds/ChibiYoda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony was unaware of the effect that Bruce has on people, until it started to affect him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Under the Radar

“Maybe you don’t want to get back into the dating scene, but I’m feeling the need to indulge. My dry spell is beginning to resemble an era.”

Bruce looked up from his papers. “Knock yourself out, Tony. I’ve told you that you don’t need to entertain me 24/7. I’m perfectly capable of keeping myself occupied while you’re having a social life.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to set you up with someone? I think this girl I’m taking out tonight has a sister. Or maybe it’s a brother. I don’t know if you’re into that.” Tony was honestly curious. “Are you into that?” 

Bruce smiled patiently. “Generally I’ve leaned toward female companionship, but I like to keep an open mind.” He returned his gaze to his papers. “You never know who you might end up being attracted to.” And when that attraction is directed at one Tony Stark, Bruce wonders if his life could get any more ridiculous.

Tony clapped him on the back. “I like the way you think, Brucie. Well, try not to miss me too much tonight, and don’t get into any trouble. I won’t be around to bail your ass out.”

“I can say the same right back to you.”

“Ha! Accurate, accurate. See ya later then.”

Tony strolled out of the lab, and instantly Bruce noticed how lifeless the space around him had become.

 

And so would begin a string of occurrences that Tony could not have anticipated.

 

In an attempt to improve his image in front of his new friends, Tony’s foray back into the dating game began with an English literature professor. Being one of the most intelligent men in the world, Tony was more than capable of attracting and engaging people of a higher I.Q. And maybe he had reached a point in his life where a bit of conversation along with the sex was preferred instead of avoided.

After the prerequisite dinner, Tony brought his date back to the tower. He was still not above trying to impress with the spoils of his wealth. There was no shortage of conversation starters within the massive structure.

The pair had made their way to the common area of the living quarters. The view from the patio could not be beat. He arranged for a decadent dessert to be served there, against the backdrop of New York City at night.

Since he’s quiet as a mouse, and equally difficult to spot when he doesn’t want to be seen, they almost didn’t notice Bruce nestled on the loveseat, reading.

“Hey Bruce! Geez, we gotta put a bell on you or something. We nearly walked right past you.”

Bruce stood, anticipating an introduction. “But if I’m not moving, a bell would be useless.”

“This is true.” Tony admitted. He turned to his companion. “Amanda, this is my good friend Bruce.”

Being a lover of literature, her eyes darted to the book in Bruce’s hand. A collection of poems by Tennyson. “…For men may come, and men may go, but I go on forever.” She nodded toward the volume. 

Bruce thought for a moment, and then recognized that it was a quote from one of the poems. As he shook hands with Amanda, she added, “I couldn’t help it. It’s one of my favorites.”

Before he knew it, Tony’s date was chatting up Bruce about the book. She didn’t seem to want to end the conversation anytime soon, either.

Bruce, ever the gentleman, tried to excuse himself so that Tony could continue with his date. But Tony could see that not only was Amanda enjoying the discussion, more importantly, Bruce was. It was nice to see him interacting with someone other than a teammate for a change.

So Tony waved off Bruce’s attempted exit, and the three spent the remainder of the evening in pleasant conversation. Not exactly the outcome Tony was hoping for, but he supposed he was just a bit out of practice.

 

***

 

Tony was accustomed to being invited to all sorts of functions. A new twist was that now his teammates were often included. A bonus for Tony. He was thankful to have a few more tolerable people to hang out with at some of these things. Tony’s date this evening owned the flower shop where he did much of his business. He wasn’t very knowledgeable on the topic, but he could appreciate a beautiful bloom as much as the next person. Rounding out Tony’s table where Steve, Nat, and Bruce.

All in all, everyone seemed to be having a good time. The food was excellent, and the mood was relaxed. Steve and Nat were already on the dance floor when Tony escorted Sara to it.

He didn’t have to pay much attention to what the orchestra was playing. He could dance on autopilot. But instead of focusing on the attractive woman he was with, Tony found his eyes wandering back to their table, where Bruce sat alone. Tony knew that he was perfectly content to watch. Bruce didn’t like to draw attention to himself. But Tony also knew he needed to help Bruce acclimate. He had an idea...

“Say, Sara, would you mind dancing with my friend? He’s on the shy side, and doesn’t get out much. I just wanna make sure he feels included.”

She easily agreed, and they headed back to the table.

“Back so soon?” Bruce saw that they hadn’t even made it through an entire song.

“Yeah, I think I turned my ankle or something.” Tony pretended to massage the area. “What d’ya say Bruce. Could you take Sara for a spin around the dance floor for me?”

Bruce was momentarily thrown, but recovered quickly. Seemed that his one well nursed drink was able to put him at ease enough to decide to peek out of his shell. “Oh...sure. Of course.” He slid out of his seat, buttoned his jacket, and the two weaved through the tables toward the dancers.

Bruce and Sara finished out the current song, then continued on with the next. Tony was proud of himself as he watched his experiment in action. He’d done his good deed for the day. Maybe now the gods with smile upon him and let him get laid tonight. He was imagining that scenario in his mind when the couple returned to the table.

“How are you doing Tony?”

Bruce was genuinely concerned, and maybe Tony felt a little bad for lying to him. But it was for the greater good. “Oh, it doesn’t seem too bad, but I think I need to stay off it for a while.”

It was Sara who chimed in next. “Oh, that’s a shame.” She took a sip of her wine. “Would you mind very much if Dr. Banner and I did a little more dancing, since you’re not able?” She turned to Bruce. “That is, if you’re up to it, of course.”

Tony thinks he saw Bruce’s cheeks take on a bit of color.

“Um, sure, if you’d like.” He looked to Tony for approval. “Is that all right with you?”

What was Tony gonna say… No, that would steal valuable time needed to schmooze this woman in an effort to get her into my bed?

Instead, he waved a hand. “Knock yourselves out.”

So his buddy and his date made their way back to the dance floor. He cursed himself. He’s a genius after all, of course his plan would work too well. He couldn’t be angry though. Tony figured that Bruce could probably use the pickup more than he. And he did look almost elegant out there, as they glided around the floor.

Next time, Tony will remember not to fake an injury.

 

***

 

Tony decided that since he was looking for some physical contact, why not put himself in a situation where that would be inevitable.

He invited his next candidate over to the tower, under the guise of a fitness program. He’d met a guy who is a personal trainer, and pretended he was in need of some advice on the best ways to get the most out of the plethora of exercise equipment that he’d stocked his home gym with. There’s bound to be some touching during the consultation. All Tony needed was the excuse to make contact. He could work his magic from then on.

 

The gym was deserted when Tony and his guest arrived. Good. He didn’t need a loudmouth like Clint blowing his cover.

The men began to make their way around the facility, and Tony did his best to listen patiently while Vic explained the ins and outs of each machine, what area of the body they targeted, and so forth. It was nearly killing Tony to play dumb, but a guy’s gotta do what a guy’s gotta do sometimes. Tony would periodically position himself the wrong way, so that Vic would have to correct him.

They really hadn’t been at it very long when Tony noticed that Vic had taken an interest in something behind him. Tony turned, and emerging from the showers, clad only in a towel, was Bruce.

Bruce was just as startled to see them as they were to see him. “Oh, hi. Just passing through. Don’t mean to intrude.”

Bruce would’ve kept on going, if Tony hadn't stopped him. “Not that I mind or anything, but is this a fashion statement you’re making?” He pointed to the towel.

Bruce reddened a little, and explained. “Well, I usually choose to shower back at my place when I’m done here, but I’m having some trouble with the hot water, and stupid me forgot to bring a change of clothes.”

Tony was about to say something, when Vic piped up. “You work out?”

Tony noted his would-be date’s eyes wander over Bruce like a dog eyeing a steak.

“Just a little.” Bruce answered. “Good for stress relief.” Though the death-grip he currently had on his towel would beg to differ.

Then Tony remembered what Bruce had said. “Wait, you’ve got no hot water in your place? Why didn’t you say something?”

“It’s no big deal. It just happened last night. I was going to mention it whenever I ran into you today. I didn’t need to bother you unnecessarily.”

Tony sighed. “Bruce, when you have a problem, don’t hesitate to let me know. This is your home, and you’re never a bother.”

Bruce smiled a boyish grin that could melt the heart of the Abominable Snowman.

It also seemed to be doing a number on good old Vic here.

Tony knows when he’s been defeated.

 

***

 

What kind of bizarro world are we living in when a guy like me can’t get laid? Tony pondered this, while thinking up his next move. Maybe it would be best to go with the tried and true tactic, just to get past this hurdle. Then he could return to the quest to find someone of substance.

He grabbed his phone and scrolled through, until he came to a subfolder marked TST. There were a couple dozen names inside. Tony picked one, and made the call.

 

Later that evening, Tony and his date arrived back at the tower, after a very expensive and showy dinner. While the less discerning of Tony’s past companions were easily impressed when he threw his money around, his new teammates didn’t give a hoot about it. No wonder these people were growing on him.

They stopped by the lab, because there were all kinds of shiny objects there that he could dazzle her with. Upon entering, Tony spotted Bruce deep in thought. “Hey Brucie! This is Tiffany. Tiff, this is my roomie, Bruce. He’s a genius, like me. But unlike me, he spends his Saturday nights toiling away in the lab. It’s quite sad, really.”

Bruce looked up. “I’m not your roomie, Tony.” He then nodded to Tiffany. “Hi. It’s nice to meet you.”

It was at this moment that DUM-E noticed his master’s arrival. The little guy was so excited, he made a beeline for Tony...and bumped into a table, knocking over the items on top along the way. The bot froze, sensing that he’d done something wrong.

“Honestly DUM-E, remind me why I haven’t disassembled you yet!” The frustration in Tony’s voice rang through loud and clear.

The bot whirred and chirped what could be interpreted as an apology, hanging its head in shame.

Bruce was quick to move to the table to console DUM-E, and begin straightening up.

“Aww, you hurt his feelings.” Tiffany was shocked. “You shouldn’t be so mean to him.”

Tony wasn’t prepared to have to defend his actions. “What? It’s a robot! He doesn’t have feelings. Actually. Not really.”

“Look at how nice Bruce is to him.” She started toward Bruce and the bot. “Are you mean to Bruce, too?” Bruce demonstrated that she could pat DUM-E’s head if she wished. She giggled when the bot beeped and whistled.

Tony stood dumbfounded. “Of course I’m not mean to Bruce! He’s intelligent, and he doesn’t destroy my stuff.”

Tony was silenced as Tiffany shot him what he assumed to be her stern look, and then continued to fuss over both DUM-E and Bruce.

Relegated from center stage to chorus in an instant, all Tony could do now was watch in wonder as Bruce did his best to accommodate an enthusiastic Tiffany. All the while, a litany of Bruce’s attributes continued on in his head. Well read, good dancer, easy on the eyes, patience of a saint…

 

***

 

The following night, Tony sauntered into the living room on the common floor. Bruce was sitting alone, watching a news channel.

“No hot date tonight?” he inquired, as Tony plopped down on the opposite end of the sofa.

“If I did have one, I sure wouldn’t tell you. You might jinx it again.”

Tony wasn’t trying to be mean, but the look on Bruce’s face made clear that he needed to amend his comment. “Don’t worry, you didn’t do anything wrong. It just seems that the people I’ve been trying to hook up with are more interested in you than me.”

Bruce was truly apologetic. “Geez, I’m sorry Tony. I didn’t mean…”

Tony cut him off. “No need to apologize. It’s not your fault. I know you weren’t deliberately trying to horn in on my dates." He scrubbed a hand through his hair. "I guess I’m just picking the wrong people.”

Bruce shrugged his shoulders, and nodded.

He didn’t want to seem overly frustrated that things were not going his way at all, so he tried to put a positive spin on the situation. “But hey,” Tony went on, “maybe you can get lucky. It would be nice if someone benefited from my efforts, even if it can’t be me.”

Bruce kinda half-smiled, and picked some imaginary fuzz off of his sleeve. “Funny you should say that. A couple of them did give me their numbers.”

Tony’s initial surprise at that bit information quickly morphed into a confusing combination of emotions, of which he had no time to dwell on. He’d have to sort it out later. It was more important to encourage his friend now. He gave Bruce the thumbs-up. “Way to go champ! Hope it works out for ya.”

“I didn’t call either of them.” Bruce admitted. “I don’t plan to either.”

Flabbergasted, Tony sputtered, “Why not? Maybe you can get lucky! You’ve got interested parties here, Bruce."

“That’s the point. I’m not interested in them.” Bruce’s eyes were glued to Tony’s, but his demeanor remained neutral. “I’m interested in someone else.”

This piqued Tony’s interest big time. “Oh, do tell. Anyone I know?”

“Maybe.”

“Well, go for it buddy! Whoever it is would be a fool not to give you a chance.”

It was at that very moment that Bruce's phone jingled. He'd set the timer, in order to remind himself of when he needed to return to the lab. As he strolled out of the room to attend to his work, Bruce looked over his shoulder at Tony. “Maybe you should take your own advice.” He continued on his way seamlessly.

The progression of facial expressions mimicked his thoughts, as Tony pieced it all together. When he came to his final conclusion, a knowing smile settled on his face.

He calmly got up, and followed where Bruce had led.

 

It was a very short time later that Tony deleted all of the current numbers in that special folder in his phone. He replaced them with just one, Bruce’s. Then he changed the name of it from TST (The Sure Things) to TOT (The Only Thing).


End file.
